Scary Stories
by janey1097
Summary: The new challenge has Beth worried, and she should be. Especially when the whole thing's in rhyme. Really, really, amateur rhyme.


_(A.N. Iambic pentameter can go punch itself in the face.)_

The sirens go off at a quarter to five

The cameras are rolling, the show's going live

The campers they groan and they cover their ears

Chris McLean's voice confirms their fears:

"It's time for a challenge, so rise and shine!

"We've got some cold showers, so make up a line."

Reluctantly, the campers follow Chris's command

Wishing just once to have the upper hand

They dress and get ready and head out the door

Except for Harold, who's super-glued to the floor

They trudge their way into the mess hall for food

To spare Chef's feelings, we won't be too lewd

(But really, the 'toast' actually dented the wall

When Courtney threw at her "Neanderthal")

Chris McLean enters with a gleam in his eye

That would, if possible, make a kitten cry

He tells the cast about the challenge at hand

To take place at night, on the beach's white sand

Around the campfire, in the pitch black of night

Where any sane person would succumb to fright

The challenge is to scare the campers away

With stories and tactics and things we can't say

The last one sitting would win the ultimate prize

Invincibility, a marshmallow, gold in their eyes

Most of the campers can't wait for the chance

To scare some sucker straight out of their pants

(We mean that in a purely metaphorical way

Instead of a "pants on the ground" deal, per say)

But one girl is frightened, and knows that she'll lose

This challenge is not one that she'd ever choose

So who's the scared-y-cat? Well, she'd never tell

But Beth is starting to feel a tad unwell

Twenty-one campers, they plot till night falls

While Beth writes her will, and whimpers, and stalls

She's never watched a horror movie before

Nor the equally scary show dubbed '_Jersey Shore'_

But she sits down and hugs her knees and prays to a god

Be it Buddha or Jesus or a golf club named 'Todd'

Just that she'll live, and won't die of fright

(Although, for ratings, it'd be quite a sight)

Duncan starts out, but they know his deal

It's the hook man again, he's being a schmeal

(The author insists that is actually a word

So don't try to pass it off as absurd)

But when he whips the hook out, people still scream

And Duncan laughs enough to burst a seam

But no one runs, everyone stays

Wondering if this could go on for days

Izzy goes next and her story's quite scary

About a possessed microwave named 'Larry'

It ate one guy's face, wait no, make that two—

And Beth cannot stand it, she's now going blue

She jumps and runs and the contestants all snort

Calling her 'chicken', but there is no retort

The campers turn back to see who goes next

What now? They wonder, for they're rather perplexed

The chainsaw wielding psycho with a hook

(Did we get that name wrong? We didn't bother to look)

Gets an appearance, courtesy of Gwen

Who recounts the story in detail, then

Finishes the anecdote with a blood-curling yell

Which makes Lindsay take off, a bat out of hell

And Courtney and Heather and Leshawna too

Are too scared to stay and sit this through

Hours later, most are gone from the fire

As the number lowers, the tension gets higher

And everyone's nervous and delirious, at that

It's been a few hours and now Bridgette's at bat

She opens her mouth to start to speak

But she is not able to make a squeak

For she's cut off by a horrible roar

More nasty than what they've heard before

"It's a monster!" Bridgette cries, and points far away

Where a figure is standing, but no, it won't stay—

It lurches to them, and Duncan sees that it's true

"The thing's got a chainsaw! Wait, no, it's got _two_!"

The thing with the chainsaws raises them high

And charges towards them with a huge battle cry

Everyone screams and runs as fast as they can

For them, it's the closest thing to a 'plan'

The figure with chainsaws turns them off soon

And lays them down gently, with a bit of a swoon

They're bloody heavy, she really must wonder

If psychopaths train to avoid making a blunder

Beth chuckles then, and she sits on a stump

If this counted and winning, she'd dance and jump

If not, then still, she has to say: "Wow—

"You guys really fell for that? Who's the chicken now?"


End file.
